4 Things Children See in Us

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

– Henry Ward Beecher

Loving Their Mother

When fathers love their wives, children take notice. They might make a funny face as a young child or a teen when they see dad kissing mom; but deep within them, they take comfort, for if their father is showing love to their mother, they themselves will feel love and also a sense of security in seeing that love. The father’s love for the children’s mom is like a reassurance that everything will be fine, as long as we love one another.

Loving Them

When my children show my wife love, they are in essence showing me love too because by displaying their love for their mother, they are displaying love for my wife. And we’re all in agreement: We love mom! The opposite, of course, is also true. So if we show anger or hostility to our children’s mom, our children will take it personally because an attack against their mother is an attack against them, as they love their mother.

Setting a Pattern

When we love our wives, our daughters will see that this is supposed to be the way a man treats a woman; and the girls will have a pattern to go by where they can compare the boys they date. If they are not being treated the way dad treats mom, then they’ll see that something’s wrong. It’s like saying to our daughters, Girls, you should have someone love you like I love your mother. Our daughters will see the way we love our wives (and their mom) as being the way it should be for them.

The Importance of Love

What is greater than love? Love was the reason God saved us (John 3:16) and the reason we should die to ourselves in serving the Lord. But if we love our wives, our children will see the tremendous value in love. Love is the glue that holds a family together, the most important factor being the Spirit of God. When husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), you can be sure your children are watching. Remember, more is caught than is taught.


Husbands, please take note of Mr. Beecher’s truth where he said, The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Since loving their mother is like loving them, treating their mom with love is like treating them with love. Setting a pattern for loving your wife is leaving your daughters an example for how their men should treat them, and it also shows that love should be the motivating factor for us because it certainly was for Jesus, Who died for us while yet ungodly, wicked sinners and enemies of His (Romans 5:6-10).